You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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