i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
