Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
i need some magic done to my vagina
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
