He disabled his match.com account in front of me
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
