the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
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I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
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Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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