Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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