Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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