Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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