yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
