I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
