She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
