Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
