I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
