1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
