I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
