Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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