lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
