He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
