is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
