I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
