Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
