Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
We just shotgunned beers for America
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
A+ Viking dick
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
