We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize