Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
