I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
