FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
