after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
