no. you can't hotbox the world.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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