he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
