Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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