I wish I only lived at night.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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