i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
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