He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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