I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
