week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
