I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
