I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
