Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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