no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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