There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
