You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
