i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
