I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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