2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Randomize
