addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
