let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
