I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
