nut hugger
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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