I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
