I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
So much rum. So many feels.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
