For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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