im drinking this country out of the recession.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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