I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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