I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
