You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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