Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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