Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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