I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
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