Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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