When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
