Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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