Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize