I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
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