john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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